


What to Expect When Unexpectedly Expecting

by hannaenomia



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Dani pregnant, Pregnant, Unexpected Pregnancy, enemies turned lovers, no viola
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:47:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29004798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannaenomia/pseuds/hannaenomia
Summary: One week into Dani's new job as the au pair at Bly Manor, she receives shocking news: she's pregnant. The news couldn't come at a worse time. She's only one month out of a hard breakup with her ex-fiance, desperately trying to find herself, and adjusting to life in a new country surrounded by strangers. It doesn't help that she and the hot, but fiery, gardener can't stop butting heads every chance they get. Will she find her place at Bly or will she be forced to go back to Iowa? What will Edmund do when he finds out about the baby? Will Dani and Jamie ever stop bickering? Probably not.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 50
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! This story is a bit more light-hearted than my others so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Also, if you read my other fic Ghost Stories, Love Stories, please know I'm a bit blocked but I haven't forgotten about it! The next chapter just isn't coming out right yet :'(

Dani padded her way over to the bedroom window and looked out over the grounds as the early morning sun cast twinkling lights across the gardens. Drops of dew sparkled under its influence. Two birds circled around each other and then darted off out of sight.

It still blew her mind that Dani was there, in England, in a beautiful country manor. Only one week had passed since her sudden departure from Iowa– she had left as soon as Henry Wingrave called to tell her she got the job. Only three weeks had passed since she sat in the restaurant with Edmund and told him she couldn’t marry him. The memory of it forced a shudder to travel down her spine.

As the shudder passed through her, it left a deep well of nausea in its place. Her head felt light and the only thing she could focus on was how sick she felt. Dani rushed to the bathroom and stood over the sink staring in the mirror. With shaking hands, she filled up a cup with water and slowly drank it. The nausea didn’t cease, but it certainly seemed like it was content just to sit and not cause her to lose whatever was left of her dinner from the night before. So, she straightened up and walked slowly through her bedroom and downstairs.

Owen noticed she wasn’t feeling well right away, despite them having only known each for a few days. Flora took her hand and wouldn’t rest until the au pair was sitting tight at the table and Hannah insisted on giving Dani the morning off so she could rest. The cook set down a cup of ginger tea in front of Dani and promised some toast would be done shortly.

“What’s wrong with ya?” Jamie asked as she walked in and noticed everyone doting over the new addition to the household.

Dani’s face reddened and she grabbed her cup. “Oh, I– I’m fine.”

“Really?” Jamie stopped in place and slapped her gloves against her fist. “Because you look pretty pale to me.”

“I probably just ate something bad,” Dani rushed to say.

“Hey,” Owen cried. “I’ll have you know I have never given anyone food poisoning.” His face dropped and he quickly rapped his knuckles on the table. 

Dani’s face turned a darker shade of red. “Uh, it was, it was a night snack.”

He still didn’t look too convinced and he cocked an eyebrow her way as he opened the bag of bread. Jamie dropped into the seat across the table from Dani and gave the woman a once over. “My guess, it’s the time change.”

Everyone in the room seemed to buy it, even if Dani didn’t. She had never had an issue with time changes before, but then again she couldn’t think of anything to explain this. The rest of her body didn’t ache with chills, she had no fever, and her throat didn’t hurt. An easy morning would probably be just what she needed.

The au pair was right. After three hours in bed reading the nausea started to lift. Dani let the book fall closed against her lap and she watched the sun shine onto her bedspread through the open window. The better she felt, the more cooped up she felt. A walk sounded nice, she decided.

Outside, the sun shined on her face and Dani took a deep breath. The air was different out here. Her hometown wasn’t a city, but it also wasn’t a little country side town either. Sometimes she had to laugh at herself because she swore she could almost smell a whiff of pot right at the very end, but she told herself it was nothing more than her mind playing tricks. There was probably another plant that smells similar and her brain just made that association.

There was nowhere in particular that she wanted to go, she just wandered. Her feet took her past the lake, quiet and still, the rose garden, tall and proud, and the chapel, silent and solemn. The grounds were beautiful. The whole thing felt like a dream, her new life here in Bly. For the first time in three weeks, Dani really felt like she could breathe again. She felt like whatever pain she carried could be left behind her. She didn’t need to let that pass onto the property of Bly if she didn’t want it to. No one here needed to know Dani before Bly which left her a lot of room to decide who Dani at Bly was.

Footsteps crunched across grass behind her and she turned around.

“Poppins, good to see you off bedrest,” Jamie said. She dropped the bucket in her hand and crossed her arms over her chest. “Feeling better?”

The woman confused the hell out of Dani. The gardener had an iron clad wall up between her and the world, except when she forgot. She was reserved, sure, but something about Jamie struck Dani as a much more open and caring person than she wanted the world to believe at first sight.

Plus, Dani thought before she had time to realize she was thinking it, the way Jamie’s sleeve slipped off her shoulder underneath her overalls was so distracting. The woman was wearing nothing more than a thin lace bra underneath it and the edge of it just popped out high enough for Dani to see.

“Dani?” Jamie asked. 

Dani’s eyes shot up from the peek-a-boo bralette and widened as they caught Jamie’s gaze. The au pair smirked a bit and gave Dani a once-up in response. Suddenly, Dani felt very uncomfortable in her mom jeans and pink v-neck top. She looked off at the lake and cleared her throat. Cool, that was so obvious, Dani thought to herself. 

“Sorry.” Dani chuckled to try and brush it off, but the moment was still awkward and her heart still beat fast in her chest. “I’m feeling a little better. You were probably right. About the jet lag.”

Jamie’s eyebrows curled as she watched Dani. “You sure you’re ready to be up and about? Hannah wouldn’t mind if you took the whole day.”

“Oh,” Dani shook her head and waved her hand. “I’m fine. Seriously.”

“In that case,” Jamie leaned down to grab the pail and the collar of her shirt hung down far enough for Dani to see straight down it. Her stomach buckled, but she couldn’t look away. “Let’s make our way to the kitchen for lunch, yeah?”

Dani watched the gardener walk across the grass and to the back door. She kicked off her boots and slipped on a pair of Keds sneakers (Hannah’s request, she hated having to clean up after Jamie’s boots), and disappeared inside. After a second, her head popped back out and called, “You coming, or what?”

~~~

Dani woke up sick the next four mornings in a row. After the second day, though, she learned that nothing would come of it so she sucked it up and faced a couple hours of discomfort until it passed– usually sometime around noon. As the day would progress, sometimes she would feel a momentary pass of nausea, but it never lasted long. 

She felt fine enough, in fact, that when Friday evening came around she agreed to a night of beers with Hannah, Owen, and Jamie after the kids fell asleep. Owen popped open a bottle and slid it across the table to Dani who accepted it and took a sip. The other three were always comfortable and casual, but this felt different. Probably because for the first time she knew that they invited her into their world– not the world that Henry could hold the door open for. It was new and exciting.

“Who’s up for a drinking game, eh?” Jamie cried. She popped off the cap of her beer bottle and sent it flying onto the table in front of her. When she dropped into her seat, she kicked a foot up onto the edge of her chair and leaned back, sipping. The other adults groaned in unison. “Oh, come on. Everyone knows a good drinking game is the best way to get to know people.”

The three of them looked at Dani and she held up her hands in neutrality. “Don’t look at me, I’m from Iowa where the only thing to do is drink. It’s up to you all.”

Hannah sighed and ran a hand over the back of her head. “Fine, Jamie, what do you have in mind?”

Excited, the woman leaned across the counter with a glint of mischief in her eyes. “A classic. Never Have I Ever.” Dani groaned dramatically. “I know, I know, boring. But, gets us right down to the nitty gritty. Skip the small talk all together. What do you say?”

“Never have I ever actually wanted to play this game,” Owen said. Then, he laughed and drank from his own beer. “Your turn, Jamie.”

Her face scrunched in thought. It was clear that in the time after dinner had ended up until Dani returned from putting the kids to sleep, Jamie had downed at least one beer already. Her gestures were a bit more exaggerated, sloppy. There was something about her presence, too. It was louder. Her energy took center stage– the life of the party. It seeped off of her and infected everyone around her with a sense of chaotic happiness. This was certainly not the Jamie that Dani had been acquainted with thus far. Neither were bad. In fact, both were just as enchanting to Dani.

Her stomach turned and she dropped her gaze to the table. Stop, she reminded herself. It’s too soon to get involved in anything.

“Never have I ever lived anywhere but England,” Jamie said and leaned back in her chair triumphantly as Dani and Owen took a sip each.

“Come on, that was a cheap shot,” Dani said over a grimace. She didn’t know what kind of beer this was but it certainly wasn’t what she drank in the States. Jamie caught on quickly to Dani’s response to the beer and she watched, chuckling, while Dani quickly recovered. “Fine, two can play that game. Never have I ever lived in England.”

All three paused, waiting to see if it was a joke. The longer they waited, the more confused Dani got and she looked over at Jamie. The gardner snorted and set her beer on the table. “You serious?”

“What?”

“You are currently living in England,” Hannah said, gently.

A laugh burst from Dani as she realized, “Fuck!” She cried and took a drink along with everyone else.

The group rested on go-to, light hearted prompts for a while. Dani learned that she was the only one that had ever been to Disneyland, Owen hated pie, Hannah once got a particularly large speeding ticket, and Jamie was actually a pretty talented singer.

Somewhere around the time they all reached their third beer, the questions turned toward a more serious side. What Owen had thought was a humorous question, proved to open a different can of worms.

“Never have I ever,” he sighed and tapped his fingers over the glass bottle, “been arrested.”

“Ooh,” Dani winced and took a sip. Everyone looked her way, shocked and she held her hands up in defense. “It was this girl Kelly’s 17th birthday and her parents were out of town so she had the place to herself. The cops were called and,” her face went red and she covered it with her hands. “When they rounded us all up, I was in Kelly’s bedroom having sex with my ex. I was slapped with community service and a lifetime of embarrassment.”

The whole group laughed, but Dani noticed that Jamie’s was a bit subdued. Hannah started to say something, but before she could Jamie took a drink. Her jaw tightened and she looked at the ground beneath her chair. A silence passed through the room as they waited for her to explain or not explain. Just because Dani told the story didn’t mean Jamie needed to.

“Not as cool as Dani,” Jamie chuckled. No one chuckled with her. “My ex got caught doing a string of robberies. Somehow convinced me to take the fall for her and I got locked up for a few years. Let me out early when she got caught doing it again and they realized it had been her the whole time.”

“I didn’t know,” Owen said, quietly.

Jamie shrugged it off. “That’s the whole point of this anyway, isn’t it?” Then, she downed half the bottle. When she resurfaced for air, no one had moved to say another prompt. “Guess I’ll go. Never have I ever truly been in love.”

Owen cast what he clearly thought was a sly glance at Hannah and took a sip. Hannah, whose head was tilted toward her lap didn’t notice, but tried to stifle her own smile into the bottle as she also drank.

Dani watched this exhibit with the bottle half way to her mouth. She thought about Edmund. She thought about whatever little thing just happened between Hannah and Owen. She thought about Jamie. Her eyes darted to the woman next to her who waited for Dani’s answer. 

The au pair let the glass fall back into her lap.

“Never have I ever had a dad figure growing up,” Dani said. The mood in the room had already shifted. No longer were they telling funny stories from their past. They were laying it all out there for everyone at the table. She probably would have shied away from this a bit if she were in Iowa. But, these people didn’t know her mom or know the O’Maras. If she left, whatever life she lived in Bly would be trapped there never to touch her again. She had nothing to lose. Here, she could feel everything, hold everything, tell the people around her the things she didn’t even want to tell herself. And they were ready and willing.

Dani watched silently as Hannah was the only one to drink.

“Never have I ever been married,” Owen said.

Of course, Hannah drank. When Dani didn’t, Hannah sent her an inquisitive look. “You had that ring on your first day, though,” she pointed out.

Owen snapped his fingers and pointed at Hannah. “That’s right. You wore it up until lunch and then I never saw it again. Always wondered.”

Dani knew Jamie wasn’t looking at her, but the way she wasn’t looking at her spoke volumes. She wasn’t distracted or off in her head. No, the gardener’s face was intently focused on her lap in an obvious, but unsuccessful, attempt at being nonchalant. Dani cleared her throat and pushed her hair behind her ear. “I didn’t lie. I was engaged, just not married.”

“Never have I ever been a runaway bride,” Jamie said. Her voice was almost harsh and, finally, she stared down Dani. 

No one drank.

“I wasn’t–.” Dani pressed her eyes closed. “I wasn’t a runaway bride.”

“So he ran?” Jamie pried.

Dani set her jaw. She turned in her seat until she was facing Jamie head on. “Never have I ever pried into someone’s personal life looking for answers that are none of my business.” She didn’t owe Jamie anything and the fact that the gardener was pushing so hard for God knows what made her blood boil. 

Jamie set her hands on her knees and leaned forward to Dani. They had been sitting next to each other at the start and now both were leaning close to each other, leaving Owen and Hannah alone on the other side of the table confused.

“Never have I ever been so guilty about who the hell knows what that I ran to another country to hide from my problems.”

Dani drank.

“Never have I ever been so scared I pushed away all the people who could be good for me before I even had the opportunity to get to know them.”

Jamie drank.

“Never have I ever naively believed that all people have good intentions from the start,” Jamie said. Her eyes narrowed.

Dani drank.

“Never have I ever been a complete ass to a coworker on their first day for the sake of being an ass.”

Jamie smirked and didn’t drink. “Never have I ever seen a coworker, a friend, dead, floating in a lake they walked themselves into and felt reminded of that when someone started in their place.”

Dani didn’t drink. She hadn’t known that about her predecessor and more seemed to fall into place about Jamie. She started to feel bad about the way she threw the woman under the bus, but mainly she was starting to run out of ammunition.

“Never have I ever been the kind of person who is so abrasive I can’t remember how to hold a non-hostile conversation with anyone but a fucking plant.”

Jamie drank. And then, something evil in her eyes twinkled. They were less narrow now, almost mocking, as a coy smile passed over her lips.

“Never have I ever gotten engaged to a man to hide the fact that I’m a lesbian.”

Dani sat straight up in her seat, but still refused to break eye contact. Hatred writhed inside of her. How dare she. How dare this person I’ve known for less than a week treat me like this, Dani thought. She drank and then she slammed her glass on the table.

“How about we try something a little different,” Owen said. “I think I can rummage up a deck of cards and we can try for a nice, quiet, game of King’s Cup.”

Dani stayed, but she spent most of the time casting dirty looks at Jamie. That was a low ball, her last prompt, but she knew if she had the ammunition she would have loaded the same thing up. On the other end of the spectrum, Jamie couldn’t stop hitting the drinks. She hit her fourth beer, then five, then lapped the others still nursing their third.

By the end of the night, Jamie could barely stand on her own and had to hold onto Hannah’s arm to steady herself. 

“I can drive her,” Owen said and reached for her arm.

Hannah shook her head. “She’s too far gone. She’ll get sick in the car and continue sick through her flat where there’s no one to watch her. No, she’s staring here tonight. I’ll draw up a bedroom.”

“I’ll couch,” Jamie said. Her hip buckled, but she caught herself and laughed. “I mean, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Too far away,” Dani said. She could hate someone but also care about her wellbeing. That’s where her and Jamie differed, or so she assumed. 

Hannah sighed and watched Owen put on his jacket. “Let me walk him out and then we can figure out your sleeping arrangements.”

Dani grimaced, but she knew the best solution for the night. “Don’t worry about it, Hannah. She can stay with me and I can keep an eye on her.”

“You sure?” Hannah asked, eyeing the two of them. No doubt she was remembering the fiery exchange from earlier and wondered why Dani offered. Dani felt bad, though. She crossed a line just as much as Jamie did and she had to make up for her part in that. The way Jamie drank so hard after made Dani think that, just maybe, Jamie also felt guilty about the exchange.

“Yeah,” Dani smiled and nodded. She took Jamie’s arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Have a good night, you two.”

Climbing the stairs proved to be difficult. Jamie wasn’t much help and Dani kept getting distracted by the feeling of Jamie pressed up next to her. By then, Dani was pretty sober. She never made it to a fourth beer and she was happy for that because getting Jamie upstairs would have been impossible if she was even the slightest bit tipsy. When they managed to make it into Dani’s room, Jamie collapsed immediately onto the bed. The au pair was pretty sure she had fallen asleep the second her head hit the pillow so she went about her own nightly routine. 

In pajamas, with teeth brushed, Dani slipped into the bed. She wiggled the comforter out from under Jamie and made sure to drape it over the top of the gardener as she covered herself with the blanket. 

Jamie stirred and rolled onto her side to face Dani.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Dani whispered. “There’s a glass of water on the bedside table next to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jamie whispered.

“What?”

Jamie sighed and opened her eyes to look at Dani. “I shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”

Dani nodded, “It’s okay. I said some things I shouldn’t have either. Especially about Rebecca Jessel, I really didn’t know.”

“Nothing you said was worse than me outing you,” Jamie sighed. 

Dani forced a smile. “You made it easier for me, though. I didn’t have to find an awkward way to bring it up myself.”

“Still,” Jamie said. Her voice softened and her eyes drooped with exhaustion. “I’m sorry.”

It was the first time Dani had slept in a bed next to a woman. Sure, there had been sleepovers with friends as a kid, but it had been years since anything like this. Maybe that time had passed or maybe Dani thought it was safer to avoid it in an effort to keep hiding. The feeling of Jamie sleeping next to her was comforting but electrifying, too. She wasn’t sure what to make of it and she drifted off to sleep as her mind explored questions she had spent years pushing away.

When Dani woke up, the nausea woke up with her. This time was different, though, and she burst from the bed. She barely made it to the bathroom before releasing whatever was in her stomach. 

After her third time vomiting, Jamie padded into the bathroom behind her. Her hair was a mess of curls and her eyes still pressed tight from sleep. “You alright?” She asked, dazed.

Dani leaned back from the toilet and wiped her mouth with some toilet paper. “I feel better now.”

“Must be some hangover,” Jamie said and held a hand against her temple.

“Yeah, except I barely had three beers,” Dani muttered. This wasn’t a hangover, this was whatever had made her sick the entire week. “It’s gotta be the jet lag.” 

Jamie’s eyebrows pressed together. “Still?”

“It’s the only thing that can explain it,” Dani shrugged. She pushed herself up from the ground and grabbed her toothbrush.

“I’m taking you to the doctor,” Jamie said. She grabbed her hair and wrapped into a small bun at the base of her neck.

Dani shook her head and said over the toothbrush in her mouth, “No, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay.”

“It’s not for you, it’s for me. Have you ever seen Miles and Flora sick?” Jamie shook her head. “If it’s a bug, we gotta get it fixed before they catch it or else we’re all done for.”

Once she spit and wiped her mouth, Dani agreed to go. She loaned Jamie a different shirt that didn’t reek of stale beer and then they drove off, letting Hannah know as they left the house.

The car ride was silent, still feeling the awkwardness of the night before. Neither of them tried to break the silence and even when Dani searched for something to fill the space, she couldn’t think of anything. Eventually, Jamie just turned on the radio.

At the doctor’s office, Jamie pulled into a spot near the entrance. “I’ll come in, yeah?” She asked. “Just to the waiting room, I mean. It can be a bit confusing here if you don’t know the system.”

Dani took a deep breath and agreed. She knew the medical system in England was very different than the medical system in the U.S.. And, to be honest, that’s why she hadn’t broached the idea of going to the doctor sooner– she was anxious about it.

Inside, Jamie talked to the receptionist for Dani. There were a lot of questions the American didn’t understand, but Jamie answered with ease. When the receptionist handed Jamie some paperwork, she led Dani to some chairs and helped her fill it out.

“Thank you so much,” Dani said. Her cheeks turned a bit red and she could feel her heartbeat picking up in her ears. “I don’t think I could have figured this out without you.”

“Gotta make up for being a dick last night somehow,” Jamie said. A small smile peaked out and she caught Dani’s gaze before looking at the plants next to them. Her fingers rubbed on the leaves. “Not watering them enough.”

It turned out that doctors adhered to their schedules better in England than they did in the U.S., because only a few short minutes later a tall woman with red hair called Dani back. She pulled out a blood pressure cup and slipped it around Dani’s arm.

“So tell me about the nausea,” Dr. Ellers said.

“It’s not too severe and usually passes around noon. The most of it, anyway. Sometimes it comes back a bit in the afternoons. Today was the first morning I threw up from it.”

Dr. Ellers pulled off the cup and instead pulled out her stethoscope. “How long has this been going on?”

“It started about five or six days ago. I thought maybe it was jet lag,” Dani said.

The doctor took a deep breath. “Your vitals are strong. How long ago did you arrive?”

“Uh,” Dani looked at the ceiling as she calculated. “About two weeks ago now.”

“Then it isn’t jet lag,” Dr. Ellers said. “It would have started immediately and probably wouldn’t last thing long. We’ll run some quick tests, just sit tight.” She patted Dani’s leg and left the exam room. A minute later, a nurse came in and took some blood. After that it was only fifteen minutes before Dr. Ellers returned with some paperwork.

Dani laughed. “That was fast. At home it would take weeks.”

Dr. Ellers gave an amused smile. “Ah, yes, the limitations of American medicine.” Still smiling, she scanned over the last page and then closed the file. “Well, we have our answer. You’re pregnant.”

The au pair’s stomach dropped and her face drained of color. “What?” She squeaked. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty positive,” Dr. Ellers said. “The blood tests are very conclusive.”

Dani pushed her hair over the top of her head with both hands. “I was just drinking last night.”

The doctor waved her hand a bit. “It happens all the time in unexpected pregnancies. Women drink before they know they’re pregnant. The likelihood of there being any negative outcomes from it is very low so long as you avoid alcohol now.”

Tears pressed against Dani’s eyes and she pursed her lips. “Okay, thank you.”

“Danielle,” Dr. Ellers said. She stared intently at Dani’s eyes and the au pair knew she caught on to the panic she was desperately trying to hide. “Is the father in the picture?”

She shook her head and an awkward chuckle escaped her. “We broke up last month.” A tear finally slipped down her cheek.

“Oh, this must be so hard then. Do you at least have a good support system?”

Dani paused at the question. If she went back to Iowa, she most certainly would. People would fawn over her: the pretty, young girl whose engagement ended only to find out she’s pregnant a month later. That’s the kind of story that small town people bored out of their minds obsess with. Yeah, she would have all the support she could possibly want if she went back to Iowa.

But there wasn’t a place for her there. She wasn’t the person that she had made herself out to be when she lived there. At Bly, she wasn’t hiding. Owen and Hannah and Jamie saw her for who she was and not the picture perfect girl she had to play back home. It was a lonely feeling, actually, to realize that the people who know you best have only known you for a couple weeks.

There wasn’t a place for her in Iowa, but something told her there was a place for her here in Bly if she wanted it. They were good people who carried enough of their own things not to be scared of Dani’s. 

“Yeah, I have a good support system,” Dani said.

She left the office with the number for an obstetrician she would need to call on Monday and some anti-nausea pills. In the waiting room, Jamie stood when she caught sight of Dani leaving. The au pair still felt in shock like her mind was disconnected from her body and she couldn’t think properly.

“Everything good?” Jamie asked quietly as they walked out of the doctor’s office together.

“Uh,” Dani looked over at Jamie. She forced a smile. Sure, she knew that she could have a place amongst a good support system, but saying the words out loud, I’m pregnant, was so scary. “Yeah. You were right, jet lag. She gave me some anti-nausea meds that should help.”

Jamie’s eyes narrowed at Dani, but she accepted the answer. “Right. Glad it’s not a bug.”

“Me, too.” Dani forced a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so invested writing this I forgot to post chapter 2! I'll update at least once a week :) Hopefully you enjoy and tell me what you think :)

That night, Dani barely slept. She got out of bed to look at herself in the mirror and then, when the anxiety was too much, she ran back to the bed and cowered under the blankets.

A baby. A whole baby. All hers. 

She always wanted kids, but she never imagined doing it by herself. The thought was scary and isolating. It was never supposed to happen like this.

Thankfully, the following day was Sunday and Dani didn’t need to lead any lessons for the kids. After breakfast, she disappeared into one of the sitting rooms at the other end of the manor with a book. Just when she was starting to forget the stress of the past day and a half, there was a knock on the door and Jamie popped her head in.

“Hey, I thought you had the day off,” Dani said. A smile spread across her face at the sight of the gardener and her stomach churned in excitement.

Jamie walked in and nodded as she closed the door behind her. “I do, yeah. And so do you, so I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here for a while. Get some fresh air and maybe explore the town a bit.” Her words got slower and more drawn out as she said them and Dani couldn’t help but smile at how nervous Jamie was getting.

She steadied herself. Jamie probably wasn’t looking for anything more than smoothing over the exchange between them on Friday night. They could be great friends and Dani needed that. “That sounds great.”

This time around, their car ride was loud and talkative. Dani found a collection of CDs in the glove compartment and she read them aloud.

“No, please,” Jamie cried and laughed. “Don’t do that.” She tried to pull it from Dani’s hands but the au pair held her arms off to the side out of Jamie’s reach.

“The Rolling Stones, The Smiths. What’s the problem? These are great bands.” She flipped to the next sleeve and burst out laughing. “Madonna and Michael Jackson?”

Jamie’s face went red. “They’re talented artists!”

Dani pulled out Madonna’s CD and inserted it into the player. “Oh, I love them. I just didn’t peg you for wasting your time with this kind of music.”

“I guess there’s more layers to me than you think, Poppins,” Jamie quipped. She looked over at Dani and the two shared a moment. Then, Dani pressed play. Like a Virgin played through the speakers and Jamie groaned loudly from embarrassment. Right then, she pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car. “Saved by the damn bell.”

Dani forgot about the music, distracted by the world outside her window. “This is Bly?”

“Yep,” Jamie nodded. “Downtown. The best place to be and the reason I moved here.”

Dani looked over her shoulder at Jamie as the gardener climbed out of the car and she did, too. The downtown was full of shops and buildings made of stone. The streetlamps weren’t on since it was day but their black iron designs made the street cozy. The sidewalks lining the paved roads were made of cobblestone and an occasional wooden box sat on top of it with flowers inside. 

Every storefront had warm lighting and a welcoming feel, even from the windows. Jamie matched Dani’s pace, who was more focused on absorbing the world around her than focusing on where they were going. The two reached a door and Jamie held it open for Dani.

“This is my favorite cafe,” Jamie said. And Dani could see why. The only lighting was from lamps scattered around between tables and armchairs. Big bookshelves towered over the seating, dripping with books. The best part, the part Jamie probably loved the most, was how every corner, every nook, was covered with plants. 

“This is really nice,” Dani said.

“Order what you want, on me,” Jamie said. “They’ve got coffee, but I can’t promise it will be good.”

I’m pregnant, Dani remembered. The doctor had said she could drink a few cups of tea a day without any issue. So, she ordered a cup of black tea with a bit of sugar and milk. Jamie ordered the same, but without sugar, and then ordered two chocolate croissants. Apparently, it was a requirement to get one from this shop, Jamie told Dani.

“Can we keep walking around?” Dani asked as she accepted the cup from the barista. 

Jamie nodded, “Sure.” They exited the cafe together, each holding a croissant. “Try it and tell me what you think.”

Dani looked down at the croissant, trying to determine the best plan of attack for something as flaky as this. When she decided on the best way to bite, she went in. Her eyes closed as she chewed and felt the ganache pour into her mouth. “Oh, my god that’s amazing.” She took another bite.

“Isn’t it?” Jamie asked. Her voice was soft and she began to eat hers, too. “Don’t tell Owen, but they’re better than his.”

“Your secret is safe with me as long as you sneak me one of these a week.”

Jamie’s eyebrows went up her forehead and she turned to look at Dani. “Bribery, huh?” She shrugged and grinned over the now half-finished pastry. “I’ll take that deal.”

Dani’s attention was caught by something in the window of a boutique. “Let’s go in.”

They wandered a couple boutiques for an hour. Dani left with a couple small items and Jamie watched on as the au pair touched everything. Eventually, Dani caught Jamie staring.

Jamie took a sharp breath and her eyes widened. “Oh, you just seem more relaxed than I’ve seen you. Got a bit of a glow about you. You work hard, Poppins, you deserve some time away.” She looked away and cleared her throat.

At the word ‘glow’, Dani froze and a feeling of ice washed through her. People always said pregnant women had a glow. Did she have it? Would it give her away? She set down the bar of goat milk soap in her hand and forced a smile.

“Let’s keep walking.” Outside, the warm spring breeze turned to a crisp one. Dani pulled the sleeve of her shirt down over her fingers and squeezed her shoulders closer to her ears. “It got cold all of a sudden.”

The gardener gestured to the corner at their right. As they rounded it, they came to a stone footbridge crossing over a river and the two stopped half way across. Dani leaned her elbows onto the barrier and peered down at the water below. It wasn’t a big river, but it moved fast. The water tripped over large rocks and pushed around plants. Some birds hovered in the area, one even chewing on something atop a small log.

“Come here a lot to think,” Jamie said. Her mood changed as she said it and she began to fidget in place. “I really was horrible to you the other night. Look, I… I’m pretty closed off and I know that. Most people in my life did more damage than they were worth and I was left alone to clean up the pieces.”

“Like your ex?” Dani asked. Her voice was quiet and she had forgotten about the river, now carefully watching Jamie speak even as the gardener stared off.

Jamie took a deep breath and nodded. “Like my ex. Plants don’t screw you over and, if you treat them right, you can’t screw them over. So it always felt easier to just push people away. You were right, though.” She looked at Dani and held her gaze. “I do push away people who could be good for me.”

Dani chewed on her lip for a second. Her eyes fell to their hands on the railing. They were just inches from each other. Slowly, she scooted her hand over until their pinkies brushed against each other. A small smile crept over Jamie’s face and she laced her pinky around Dani’s. “I think you’re doing a pretty good job pulling me back after Friday night.”

The two shared a grin. And then, the sky tore open with a sudden rumble of thunder and water poured down around them. It slapped the ground so loudly the two had to yell to hear each other and even then it was difficult.

“Come on,” Jamie cried. She dipped her head and ran back towards the shops. The downpour was so intense that after only a minute they were both almost soaked. Jamie ducked down a wide alleyway, promising a short cut. Further down, the alley twisted off to the right, but ended in a deadend. She stopped and stared over her shoulder, breathing heavy. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Dani looked around the alley and shivered. A large dumpster sat in front of them overflowing with garbage bags. Next to it, almost hidden by how tucked away it was, sat a small doorway blocked off by a large piece of plywood covered in street art. The au pair threw herself into the nook and pulled Jamie in after her. It was deep enough that the stone walls around them blocked out much of the noise, but the space was tight. Even with Dani pressed against one side and Jamie pressed against the other, there wasn’t more than a couple inches between them, chests rising and falling, staring at each other.

Jamie’s white cami underneath her unbuttoned cardigan was wet and pressed against her lace bra– Dani could hardly keep her eyes from it. She unpeeled herself from the stone wall behind her and moved a centimeter closer to Jamie. The gardener did the same. And then, their hands wrapped around each other and their mouths met. It was a hungry, ravenous kiss. Something erupted in Dani’s gut. It wasn’t her first time kissing another girl, but it was her first time kissing one like this and it melted her. For a moment she wondered if it was because she was kissing a woman or because she was kissing Jamie. Whatever the reason, it felt more right than anything ever before.

The rain stopped just abruptly as it came and whatever bubble that had formed around them popped. No longer was Dani caught up in the rom-com moment. Reality crashed around her. I’m pregnant, she remembered and she jumped back from Jamie.

“You okay?” Jamie cried in shock. Her lips were red and her eyes searched Dani.

“I–, I’m fine,” Dani stammered and stumbled her way out from the nook. The sun shined down over her, now just as warm as it had been that morning. Jamie didn’t know Dani was pregnant and it wasn’t fair. The au pair hardly knew the woman and what if Jamie didn’t want children? No, now was not the time to do this with Jamie and the thought tore her apart. She had just started to open herself up to Dani and Dani hadn’t stopped long enough to wonder if that was a good idea.

Jamie wiped her mouth with the side of her thumb and scoffed. It was more to herself than to Dani. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Dani rushed back to the nook. “No, no, it wasn’t your fault. You don’t understand.”

The gardener pushed past the au pair and into the alley. “You literally just broke up with your fiance a couple weeks ago and all of this is so new to you.”

“It’s not like that,” Dani cried. When Jamie waited for an answer, Dani realized she had none to give. So, she closed her mouth and looked off to the side.

“Right,” Jamie muttered. “I should probably get you back to the house so you can change.”

~~~

Jamie wasn’t around much the next couple of days. She took her lunch in the greenhouse and left before dinner. When they did run into each other, the gardener never offered much more than a polite nod and went about her business. It hurt Dani every time, but she was the one that messed up this time around and there was nothing she could do to change it.

The appointment with the obstetrician was made for Thursday. Owen took Dani into town this time and dropped her off while he went to the market. She felt more familiar with the British medical system now than she had that weekend, but even so she found herself wishing Jamie was there to help her through it. Dani messed up a few times, but the receptionist was kind enough to help her fix it. 

As Dani sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come in, she swore she never felt so alone. This was supposed to be something you do with the love of your life and, yet, here she was alone. She set her hand on her lower stomach and tried to feel something other than fear. That’s how the doctor found her when he walked in.

“I’m Dr. Kirk, it’s nice to meet you,” he said and rubbed hand sanitizer on his hands. He was short, around 5’5”, and had a warm energy about him. “It’s nice to meet you, Danielle.”

She forced a smile, “Nice to meet you.”

Dr. Kirk looked around the room. “You here by yourself today?”

“It’s just me,” Dani said. He nodded and didn’t ask any other questions about the matter. 

Most of the appointment was spent with Dr. Kirk talking about the basics of maintaining a healthy pregnancy. It was a lot of stuff Dani already knew, but some she didn’t. He gave her a list of vitamins that she would need to take and told her the front desk would give her starter bottles for now until she could make a trip to the store. 

When it was time for the ultrasound, Dani laid back on the table and pulled up her shirt. The camera switched on and Dr. Kirk circled around her lower abdomen for a bit searching for the baby. Suddenly, and surprisingly to Dani, a wave of anxiety rushed through her. It wasn’t the anxiety that had been carrying her through the past few days. She wasn’t worried about the fact that she was pregnant. Now, her heartbeat skyrocketed worrying that something was wrong with the pregnancy.

“There’s the baby,” Dr. Kirk grinned and stopped moving the wand so much. He pointed at the screen. “See that? There?”

A smile pressed against the corner of Dani’s mouth and she nodded. A heartbeat pulsed from the machine and Dani’s began to lower. “Everything’s good?”

Dr. Kirk stared at the screen for a moment longer and then returned his gaze to Dani. “Looks perfectly normal.” He pressed a button on the machine and an image printed out. Dani took it and stared at it for a time. Her chest opened up and her stomach turned in anticipation. There it was, the feeling other than fear. “My guess is you’re a little over two months.”

Dani’s eyes snapped up from the photo. “Two months?” She wondered how she had been pregnant that long without knowing.

He looked surprised by her reaction and returned his attention to the screen. “You think it should be shorter? When was your last menstrual period?”

“I–,” she paused to think. “I guess around then. There’s just been a lot of stress lately, I thought my body skipped it.”

Dr. Kirk chuckled, “Periods can be tricky little things like that, can’t they?”

She walked out of the office feeling lighter than when she walked in. The photo was carefully tucked in her purse and every piece of her wanted to be back at the house, in her room, staring at it. Owen pulled in a few minutes later with paper bags stacked in the backseat.

“So, lay it on me,” Owen said. He leaned back in his seat and feigned a look of despair. “How long do you have left?”

Dani blushed and blinked at him like a deer in the headlights. “What?” Did Owen know, she wondered. 

He shook his head and chuckled, “Bad joke.” Owen readjusted in his seat and turned the key in the ignition. “Let’s get back before Jamie and the kids burn down the manor.”

“Jamie’s watching the kids?” Dani asked and Owen nodded in response. “Where’s Hannah?”

“It’s her day off,” Owen said. “Jamie’s great with them. Hannah would say she lets them run rampant, but I say, chaos builds character.”

“I didn’t know she spent that much time with them,” Dani said.

“Oh, yeah, Jamie loves them. She’s been in one of her moods the last couple days so she hasn’t been around as much, but she always comes back when she’s ready.” Owen laughed and shook his head. “One time, Flora was probably five so Miles was seven, she let them paint whatever they wanted all over the walls of one of the spare rooms. As you can imagine, Hannah lost her mind when she found out. Jamie said, ‘every child needs a little free expression or else one day they wake up with a stick up their arse’. She let them have a go at the room every day for a week. Of course, she eventually repainted the walls before the Wingraves found out.”

Sure enough, when they pulled into the driveway, Jamie, Flora, and Miles were in the grass acting out a very dramatic scene. Dani had no clue what it was, but Flora was wearing a crown while Miles carried a sword. Beneath them, Jamie was splayed out on the ground pretending to be dead.

“Stop laughing,” Flora cried. “You’re supposed to be dead. Dead people don’t laugh.”

Jamie rolled over onto her stomach and looked up at the kids. “Who says I’m not a ghost?”

“Ghosts leave their bodies,” Miles pointed out.

“True. How about a zombie?” Jamie grabbed Flora’s leg and started dragging her across the lawn. The girl kicked her off, laughing, and Jamie rolled into a sitting position. Her flannel hung off one shoulder exposing her overalls and the thin camisole underneath it. It was the same cami she wore that last weekend with Dani. The car must have caught her attention then, because she noticed Dani watching. Her face fell and she glanced at the ground then back at Dani then back to the kids.

“Let me try again, okay?” Jamie asked, but her voice was heavier and less playful.


	3. Chapter 3

When Dr. Kirk told Dani she was a little over two months pregnant, she hadn’t realized that meant she would be showing sooner than she expected. One week after the appointment, there was a little bit of change, but it didn’t look like anything more than a bit of bloating. After two and a half weeks, Dani really noticed the bump forming. From what she read, some women barely looked pregnant at this stage and others clearly were. That particularly morning, she realized as her gut sank, she was somewhere closer to the latter. It happened fast or maybe it was so slow she didn’t notice much difference until now, either way it was a shock to see.

The idea of telling the others scared her. It was normal not to share the news until the second trimester and she kept pushing the thought away so fast she didn’t realize that day was fast approaching. Dani rushed to her desk and grabbed her small, leather bound planner. It was mainly used for keeping track of lesson plans, but she had written in her doctor’s appointment. She flipped back through the pages until she found it and then did the math back from there. 

If she had been about two months pregnant exactly, she had another week and a half before the second trimester. But, the ‘little over’ could mean anything. A week? Two weeks? Even just a week over meant that she would be hitting the second trimester any day now, if she hadn’t already. 

In the classroom that morning, she stared out the window at nothing in particular thinking over the morning’s revelation while the kids did work silently behind her. The days were getting warmer and she wouldn’t have the luxury of hiding behind chunky sweaters like she wore that day much longer. She had no clue how to tell the others. Flora couldn’t keep a secret for the life of her, maybe Dani could tell the young girl and wait for the information to disseminate from there. 

The sound of raised voices outside tore her attention away. She stepped closer to the window to try to angle herself better, but wherever the voices were coming from she couldn’t see. One of them sounded like Owen’s and the other was unfamiliar, a woman’s probably, though.

The classroom door behind her burst open and Hannah stood there looking concerned and wringing her hands. Her eyes landed on Dani and then Flora and Miles. “Children, go upstairs now and close your doors.”

“But our lessons,” Flora said.

“Your lessons can wait,” Hannah said. “Run along. Now please.”

The two exchanged a look and then left. Dani glanced at the window and then back to Hannah. “What’s going on?”

Hannah sighed, “It’s Jamie’s ex. She gets drunk and stops by from time to time. It’s never a pretty sight.”

“Where’s Jamie?” Dani asked, her voice catching in her throat.

“Out front. Her and Owen are arguing with Alex,” Hannah said. Dani immediately made for the door. “It’s probably not a good idea–.” 

Dani speed-walked through the house and to the front door. The closer she got, the louder the voices got. She pushed open the door and stepped out into the warm air. Jamie turned to see who was coming. Her jaw was set, her brows furrowed with anger and impatience, and one hand resting on her hip.

“Poppins, go back inside,” she said without missing a beat and returned her focus to the situation. She didn’t seem shaken up or scared, but after a lifetime of struggle she probably was pretty good at hiding it if she did.

Owen stood between Jamie and Alex. In an attempt to intimidate him, she was inches away from his face and with an evil grin.

“You know you’re not allowed here,” Owen said, calmly. “I suggest you get off the property before the police show up.”

Alex looked Owen up and down then spit at him. He didn’t even blink. “Big strong man thinking you can protect little ol’ Jamie.”

“I don’t need protecting,” Jamie growled.

“If I recall, she got you in a chokehold and walked you right off the property last time,” Owen stated. “But she’s my friend and she shouldn’t have to deal with shit like you on her own.”

“And who’s that?” Alex jerked her chin at Dani.

Jamie whirled around and for the first time, fear flashed through her eyes. “I told you to go back inside.”

Dani shook her head, “No. I’m staying here.”

That was the opportunity Alex was looking for. She sent a knee into Owen’s groin and stepped over him as he collapsed. “This your new girl?”

“She’s not,” Jamie said and stepped in between Alex and Dani with her arms outstretched. “She’s just the au pair. Leave her alone.” Just the au pair. Dani looked at the back of Jamie’s head and the breath caught in her throat. She didn’t know why it affected her so much.

The smell of beer oozed off of Alex and it made Dani’s stomach turn with nausea. The woman was still as she stared down Dani. Then, in one swift movement, Alex knocked Jamie out of the way and pushed Dani up against the door behind her. The au pair started to breathe fast and her head tilted back to try to get as far away from Alex as possible. 

Jamie made a loud thud to the ground and groaned. 

“You stay away from her,” Alex said in a low, threatening voice.

Dani pulled her head in closer to Alex and held her gaze. “You stay away from her.”

“Dani–,” Jamie snapped.

She pushed herself up off the grass and spit out some blood that had pooled in her mouth. Owen also managed to recover enough to stand again and the two descended on Alex from behind. She was a tall woman with a strong stature and was able to shake off Jamie’s grip easily. Her elbow went straight into the gardener’s nose and Jamie fell back, grabbing her face as blood spewed everywhere.

Owen grabbed both of Alex’s arms and wrapped them behind her back. “Enough,” he snarled. She tried to shake him off, get him to loosen his grip, but Owen wasn’t going anywhere.

Dani slid out from behind the two of them and dropped onto her knees next to the au pair. Her hands shook as she pulled Jamie’s hands from her face. Blood was everywhere and she couldn’t tell what was from her split lip and what was from her injured nose.

“I don’t think your nose is broken,” Dani said. “But we should stop the blood. Uh.” She looked around. There were no conveniently lying towels or discarded clothes or handkerchiefs. Her eyes fell to the ground as she realized what she had to do. She had a camisole on underneath her sweater and she pulled the top layer over her head. As she did so, her slightly protruding stomach became visible and Jamie stared. Dani’s face went red and she pressed the green sweater against Jamie’s face, blocking her view. “Is that too much pressure?”

Jamie took the sweater from Dani and aggressively pushed her off. “Why did you come out here? You made the whole thing worse.”

“I was worried about you and–.”

“Wanted to stick your nose in my business after your whole lecture the other night about that?” Jamie snapped.

Dani huffed, “You’re right I shouldn’t have bothered.”

“You alright, Jamie?” Owen called.

Dani looked over her shoulder and then quickly bowed her head down at her lap. Jamie confirmed she was fine, but stayed watching the au pair’s body language. The police rolled up a second later, sirens blaring.

“Fuckin’ useless,” Jamie muttered under her breath as she watched the officers casually step out of the car. They took Alex from Owen. She had given up fighting against Owen’s grip already so she went without much trouble at all. An officer asked for Jamie’s statement, but the gardener brushed them off and said she would find them shortly. Her gaze focused on Owen who would no doubt come over soon. She dropped the bloody sweater from her hand and quickly pulled her oversized top over her head revealing nothing but a bralette that reached down to her midriff. Its hem stopped a few inches above her high-waisted pants. “Here, put this on. Quick.”

Without question, Dani slid into the top and stood from the ground. She held her hand down to help Jamie up. The gardener was wobbly on her feet and returned the pressure to her face.

“What happened to your top?” Owen said.

“Dani was cold,” Jamie answered, easily and held up the sweater. Then, “I think I might have a concussion.”

~~~

Dani walked into the greenhouse. She didn’t knock as she entered, she just stayed in the doorway propped against the frame with her arms crossed. Jamie, in a brown jumpsuit, stood over her work table repotting a plant. It was a few minutes of that before Jamie sighed and stopped pressing down soil. Her eyes tilted up and she stared out the window in front of her.

“You gonna keep staring or are you gonna actually say what’s on your mind?” Jamie asked. Her tone was short, impatient.

The au pair took that as an invitation and walked up next to the table. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Jamie scoffed and her eyebrows went up her forehead. She returned to pressing the soil. “Is that what I’ve been doing?”

“You haven’t been talking during meals.”

“Haven’t been feeling particularly social since my ex turned up.”

Dani huffed. “Well, you’ve been working as far away from the house as possible all week.”

“I’ve got a rotation. The outer grounds came up this week.”

“Jamie–,” Dani snapped. She cocked her head to the side and pressed her lips together in frustration.

“I haven’t been avoiding ya,” Jamie cried out, her accent getting thicker the more upset she got. She looked at Dani for the first time and then looked back down. “I just haven’t been going out of my way to see ya, either.”

“Why?” Dani pressed. 

Anger passed over Jamie’s face and she rubbed her forehead with the side of her arm. “I’m not a child. I can make my own decisions and I hate when people think they can make them for me.”

Dani shook her head, “What do you mean?”

Jamie threw the trowel into the pot and turned to face Dani. “You decided that you being pregnant was too much for me to handle.”

“It wasn’t–,” Dani’s eye closed and she took a deep breath. “It wasn’t that. I just wasn’t ready to tell anyone and it didn’t seem fair to you.”

“That’s the same thing,” Jamie cried. “Life isn’t a fuckin’ round of Never Have I Ever. We don’t lay everything out on the table from day one. There’s things you don’t know about me, either, you know.”

Dani shook her head. She turned and rested her back against the table. “Nothing as big as this.”

“You don’t know that,” Jamie said. “Maybe they are as big. Or, maybe, they’re proportional to what you being pregnant means to me.”

Dani took a second. “I don’t think you’re being fair.” She swallowed and then faced Jamie again. “It was a complete surprise. Eddy and I weren’t trying to have kids it just– it just happened. And he never wants to see me again so I’m alone and terrified. I couldn’t tell you.”

Jamie picked up her gloves from the table and gently hit them against the top of her hand as she thought. Then, she made eye contact with Dani. “If you really think you’re alone, then you have misunderstood the people in this house entirely.” She pushed past Dani and walked for the door. Just before she exited, she turned around and took the last few steps backwards. “Congratulations, or whatever.”

When the gardener disappeared around the corner, Dani shook her head and laughed. She knew from the beginning Jamie could be so quick to anger, but the nerve. Jamie made the entire thing about her when it had nothing to do with her in the first place. The greenhouse walls started to press against her and she couldn’t take being in Jamie’s space any longer. It was only proving to make her more and more angry.

Dani stormed across the lawn, past the lake and into the kitchen through the back door. The door slammed closed behind her and caught Owen’s attention from his spot over the stove. He sighed a dramatic sigh and threw the dish towel over his shoulder.

“What happened?” He said and his tone mimicked that of a frustrated parent whose child just ran to them after a fight with a sibling.

“Jamie is,” Dani huffed and shook her head. She was so upset she missed the way Owen’s mouth fell open as he looked over his shoulder. “Hot headed, self absorbed, unempathetic and an all around asshole. I don’t know how you work with her.”

Owen cleared his throat. The door to the walk-in pantry slowly swung open and Jamie stepped out with a straight face holding a tin of cookies. “Don’t forget abrasive and cold-hearted.”

The surprise wore off quickly and Dani blinked at Jamie. “Those, too.”

Jamie marched to the table and threw the tin down with a clatter. “Don’t suppose you offered up a list of your own faults, did you? How about, judgemental, vapid, think you know what’s best for everyone? Oh, self-absorbed since you like that one so much.”

“This whole ‘if only I can tear down my walls’ thing you do,” Dani started and took a step closer. “That is such an act. You don’t have walls. You use that as an excuse to be a shitty human and you know it.”

“Little Miss Perfect, barely had a care in the world,” Jamie mocked. “You wouldn’t know what a wall was until you walked right into it, that’s how fucking easy you’ve had it.”

“My life hasn’t been easy,” Dani snapped.

Jamie rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything the phone rang out through the high tensions and Owen muttered a “Thank God,” before rushing back to the stove to look busy. It forced Dani to leave Jamie and answer.

“Oh, hey, Mrs. Clarke,” Dani said. Mrs. Clarke’s daughter, Emma, was good friends with Flora and the two of them were having a playdate at the Clarkes’ house this afternoon. “Really? I haven’t heard anything about it… Better safe than sorry, I guess. We’ll be right over.”

“Is Flora alright?” Owen asked.

Dani nodded. “She’s fine. Apparently there’s a storm warning for the evening so Mrs. Clarke thinks it would be good to pick Flora up now rather than later.”

Jamie walked to the window and looked out. In the heat of anger, neither of them had noticed the clouds settling in the sky. “Is it safe? Maybe Flora should stay the night?”

The radio in the corner of the counter clicked on and Owen crossed his arms as he listened to it. It crackled a bit, but the radio broadcaster’s voice was strong and clear.

“This is a storm warning. It is expected to start this evening around six and get worse through the night. If you need to go grocery shopping, pick up prescriptions, or go to the bank, now is the time to do it. Officials warn this could be as bad as the big storm three years ago.”

“Christ,” Jamie whispered. “That one blocked roads for days. Better to get her now than have her stranded out there with Mrs. Clarke, then.”

Owen clicked off the stove. “I’m gonna go get my mum set up with the neighbors, but I’ll be back in an hour. Can one of you two get Flora?”

“I’ll go,” Dani said and pulled her jacket from the hooks by the door. “You should stay home with your mom, Owen.”

“She loves the neighbors. The kids listen to her stories for hours, she’ll be fine.” Owen appeared sure of this as he grabbed his keys and gestured at another pair hanging next to it. “You can take Charlotte’s car. It’s in the garage.” With that, he told them to be safe and that he would see them later.

“You sure you don’t want me to pick her up?” Jamie asked.

Dani shook her head. “I’ve got it. You can just go home.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie watched through the window, with her arms crossed and her jaw set, as Dani drove off to pick up Flora. The day’s arguments replayed through her mind and she heard every insult Dani threw her way ring through the air. Never had Jamie met anyone so naive as to think everything started out with good intentions. It was more than that with Dani, though. She saw the world in such a black and white way. Everything was good until it was bad and from that judgement she really thought she had the answers to everyone’s problems without actually talking to them first.

A small voice in the back of Jamie’s head told her she was making snap judgements about the au pair. She shook off the whole incident and centered herself back into work. There was a lot to get done before the storm rolled in. 

Miles was happily in a sitting room reading a book when she found him and told him not to go outside. He wasn’t worried and returned to his book before she even left the room. Hannah was in the chapel, but when she heard the news she hurried inside to do what she could.

In the warehouse, Jamie pulled out a stack of tarps. Heavy storms happened a couple of times a year and she had a routine. She draped the tarps across the most delicate plants. Then she checked the support sticks for her taller plants to make sure they were sturdy enough.

It started with a fast wind. The air swept past her in powerful bursts. Her balance wasn’t steady, squatting down and reaching forward, and it almost blew her over. Debris had already been picked up by the wind and she had to swat aside a twig before it hit her. Above her, the sky was covered by clouds so dark it seemed like dusk even though her clock barely ticked past 3:00 p.m..

“Shit,” she cried. It was too soon. The storm was rumbling in three hours early and she barely scratched the surface of what needed to be done. The plants would have to wait and be salvaged as necessary tomorrow. Too much of the house needed tending to to avoid damage. Old houses had a habit of taking unplanned damage during storms. 

Before she turned to run inside, Jamie stared off at the driveway then again at her watch trying to remember when the others drove off. Her gut sank as she realized not much more than thirty minutes had passed. Any moment now, rain would pour from the sky and the wind would pick up. The driveway into Bly was surrounded by trees and gravel. It was not a place to drive through in those conditions.

But, there wasn’t anything she could do about that other than hope for perfect timing. That hope vanished as the rain appeared on her trek back to the house. It didn’t start out with a quiet pour. When the rain started, heavy drops fell from the sky and every step she took towards the house increased the amount of rainfall. By the time she clamored into the kitchen, she was dripping, but thankfully not drenched.

“I’ll go find some of your extra clothes,” Hannah said in response to her inspection of Jamie. “Has Owen come back yet? Or Dani?”

Jamie paused, catching her breath, and then shook her head. “No, neither.”

A muted look of concern passed over Hannah’s face but she covered it well. “They’ll be back soon.”

“You have the pots and the bowls?” Jamie asked and used a dish towel to dry her face. 

“In the foyer,” Hannah nodded. “Miles started putting them out ten minutes ago.”

The sound of a car rolling down the gravel pulled their attention to the window. Owen jumped out and held his jacket over his head as he ran. The wind had picked up and Hannah had to fight to close the door behind him.

“How’s your mum?” Hannah asked. She crossed the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove.

Owen took off his jacket and hung it on the hooks next to the door. “Good, the neighbors were already getting her ready to stay at their place. Thankfully, since the storm picked up early.”

“How was the drive in?” Jamie asked. Her voice was tight and an octave higher than normal. 

A silence took over the room and all three exchanged glances. Owen set his hand on the chair. “Dani’s not back?”

“It takes 20 minutes to get to the Clarkes’ house, she’s probably close.” Hannah pulled mugs out from the cupboard and dropped tea bags into each one. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

Jamie chewed on her lip and then nodded. Her mind found every possible thing that could have gone wrong for Dani on the drive back. It was a useless track, but she couldn’t stop. Instead, she tried to distract herself by helping Miles put out the last of the pots. There’s a lot of downtime, it turns out, carrying an armful of pots from room to room and making sure to line it up with the dot on the ceiling used to mark leaks. Not much distraction was offered in the end.

In one of the spare bedrooms on the second floor, Jamie stood back up after placing the final bowl underneath its mark. Every storm she had to brace herself to spend the following day and a half assessing every room for new leaks. They were starting to run out of bowls and pots so she hoped there wouldn’t be too many new ones popping up this year.

A loud crash outside caught her attention. She rushed to the window and surveyed the grounds as her stomach rolled. It was just a thick branch that had blown from its tree and smacked into the chimney of the chapel. 

You need to calm the fuck down, Jamie thought. Dani and Flora are fine. She ran her hands over her face and took a deep breath. 

The wind cracked against the windows. It brought the gardener back to the moment and she left the room, closing the door tight behind her. She took her time as she walked down the stairs, letting each foot thud lazily onto the wood step. The sound of the rain on the rooftop echoed through the foyer. 

Owen, Hannah, and Miles crowded around the radio in the kitchen, each holding a warm cup of tea in their hands. “What’s going on?” Jamie asked as she entered. The housekeeper offered out a cup of tea and this time the look of concern on her face wasn’t muted.

“They’re saying this is the worst storm they’ve seen in a decade,” Owen said. His voice was sullen.

Jamie’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Christ, even worse than the one three years ago?” Owen nodded and sipped his tea. “That one tore through the conservatory and shattered eight windows around the house.”

Miles sank into a chair and stared down at his mug. “Do you think Flora and Dani are okay?”

“Oh, Miles,” Hannah set her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon.”

“How about you and I,” Owen said and leaned down to make eye contact with the boy. “Make something special to welcome them home?”

The boy nodded in response and started to stand. Every light in the room turned off at once and he jumped. “What happened?”

“The lights,” Jamie hissed under her breath.

“Oh, God, do you think a tree fell on a powerline?” Hannah said and she covered her hand with her mouth.

Jamie’s heart rate picked up. A downed powerline was dangerous and Jamie found herself catastrophizing. “They should be back by now, right? It shouldn’t take this long.”

“She’s probably just driving slow,” Owen said. “Americans aren’t the best drivers.”

The gardener tapped her fingers against the mug. Her eyes never broke from the storm outside. Then, she dropped the mug onto the tabletop. It gave off a loud clatter and tea spilled over the sides. 

“Jamie?” Hannah cried. Jamie ran to the door and grabbed her jacket. It wouldn’t help much since it was already soaked, but she put it on regardless. “Where are you going?”

“I have to look for her,” Jamie said and ran out. The door swung back and she left it for the others to close behind her. 

Dani was a questionable driver, driving over rough roads in a record-breaking storm that was getting worse by the minute, pregnant, and looking after a kid she would put before her own well being almost to a fault. That last part angered Jamie. If Flora was in the slightest bit of danger, Dani would be the kind of person to throw herself in front of it rather than take a second to find a way to get both of them out of it.

The grass proved to be too slippery to run over so Jamie cut over to the gravel driveway sooner than she had wanted– the grassy lawn offered a quicker route. 

Leaves and pieces of twigs flew at her. Some torn up rose petals crunched under feet and her stomach dropped at the sight of it. All her work maintaining the gardens and after this she would have to start all over. Her heart ached at the thought of all the now dead plants.

Jamie came to a sudden stop on the driveway some 60 feet away from the house, well out of view of the windows. The plants left her mind and she stood, frozen, and chest heaving from the run. The car was left abandoned in the road. One of the front tires was popped— probably punctured— and the hood was pressed against a tree. It clearly wasn’t a hard hit, the hood was barely even dented if not only scratched. Dani probably hadn’t been driving more than a few kilometers per hour, the one smart thing she had done that afternoon.

Anger bubbled inside Jamie. Dani never should have been the one picking up Flora, it should have been her. The woman could be so impulsive and petty when mad. Jamie rolled her eyes as she spun on the ball of her foot and looked around the grounds. 

“Dani?” She yelled. The wind wouldn’t carry it too far but it was worth a try. Dani and Flora hadn’t been walking down the driveway. Her guess was Flora thought of a shortcut to the house and she had a good idea what direction they went. So, she cut through the trees.

The two would get a talking to from Jamie once she found them. Traipsing through the trees right now was not a good idea and Dani should have known better. The branches swung around, sharp and erratic. Occasionally, one would snap off and go flying. Maybe that’s why it had taken so long: one of them had been injured by a stray branch or the slippery soil.

“Dani!” Jamie screamed. “Flora?”

“Hey,” Dani huffed from behind the gardener. Her face was flushed and her eyebrows pressed together at the sight of Jamie. Her loose dress was weighed down with water and clung tight to her pregnant stomach. “What are you doing out here?”

“You should have been back ages ago,” Jamie stated. “What took you so long?”

Dani blinked and broke eye contact. “I— I just got a little lost.”

Jamie scoffed. “I knew I should have gone myself.”

“I thought I told you to go home,” Dani responded and narrowed her eyes. “Why are you still here?”

“Trust me, I’d rather be there, too, but the storm sort of disrupted my plans,” Jamie snapped. 

Flora shivered and pressed her arms against her side. “Can we go home now, please? I’m cold.”

Jamie’s face fell as she remembered the young girl. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” She picked up Flora and rested her on her hip. She wrapped her arms tight around Jamie for any extra warmth she could offer and they set off. 

A deep roll of thunder sounded from above them. Flora jumped and grabbed tighter to Jamie. “How long is it going to last?”

“It’ll be over soon,” Dani said. They all knew she was lying, but it was the answer they all needed. Flora was scared and Dani and Jamie wanted to be as far away from each other as possible. 

Jamie cleared her throat. “Not soon enough.”

They all stepped out of the trees. To their left was the house and to the right was the lake. Flora tensed and her back straightened as she stared over Jamie’s shoulder.

“Jamie, Miss Clayton,” she cried. “Look.” She extended her arm and pointed at the lake.

Both women turned in unison. 

“Oh, fuck,” Jamie whispered. 

The lake was flooding. And it was flooding fast. 

Jamie set Flora down on the ground and looked at the other two. “Go back to the house. I’ve got to put out sandbags.”

“It’s not worth it, we have to get back inside,” Dani yelled over the rain. She blinked fast to keep rain drops from sliding into her eyes.

“If it gets to the house—.”

“The house is higher than the lake, it won’t get there,” Dani said.

Jamie looked out at the part of the grounds lower than the house. It was the statue garden and the rose garden— her saving grace when life got hard. It was the place she put the most energy in and the thing that got her through.

“Jamie,” Dani cried. “We have to go inside.”

“Just go,” Jamie yelled. She was thankful for the rain because it hid the tears on her cheeks.

Dani hesitated, but grabbed Flora’s hands and the two rushed off toward the house. It left Jamie alone in the cold as she watched the lake get closer and closer to her garden.

She took a deep breath and then ran to the greenhouse. A few sandbags were stacked in there for emergencies and more were in the shed around back. It was cold in the house and wind barrelled through. One of the window panes was shattered and rain dripped inside through it. More would inevitably break by the time the storm passed and she couldn’t worry about it now. 

Her heartbeat raced as she grabbed two bags. It was more than she could really manage on her own but she had to try. Halfway there, thunder bellowed once again, but she could barely hear it over her own anxiety. 

“Jamie, stop!” Dani’s voice screamed over the storm.

Jamie didn’t stop and she didn’t even bother looking over her shoulder. “Jesus, Dani, just go back inside.” The water was close now. She would have to wade through it to get to the garden. Her feet were already soaked through the sock so rushing through the shallow water made no difference. 

Then, Dani’s hand wrapped around Jamie’s arm and she yanked the gardener back. Both sandbags slipped out of Jamie’s arms and landed on the ground with a thud. The momentum of Dani’s arm and the falling sandbags sent Jamie spinning back onto the grass out of the fast moving water.

“What the fuck?” Jamie screamed. She stood up and brushed mud off her hands onto her pants. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why do you have to stick your nose in everybody else’s fucking business? No one asked you for help.”

Dani pressed her mouth together and grabbed Jamie’s arm again, this time yanking her back to the driveway. The wet grass was slippery and it wasn’t until the two of them reached the gravel that Jamie regained her footing.

“Get off of me,” Jamie cried and pushed Dani away with her free hand. The au pair went tumbling backwards and slammed down to the ground on top of her ankle.

Dani’s stern face contorted in pain and she pulled her knee close to her chest. “I–.” A lightning bolt crashed down and cracked into the water. Light spread out from its center point in a circular movement all across the moving water. The grass, soaked, carried it a ways, too, before it finally died out. Dani pointed towards the commotion. “That’s why I couldn’t leave you alone. You’re running around so worried about plants you aren’t thinking about yourself. The garden is gone, Jamie. It was already gone before the lake flooded and sandbags aren’t going to change that. They’re just plants. They aren’t worth your life.”

“So why did you come running out after me if it’s such a bad storm, then?” Jamie cried.

“Just help me up,” Dani snapped back. She extended her hand out and Jamie hesitated, glaring, until she pulled Dani to her feet. “Oh,” the au pair said as she tried to put weight on her foot.

“Can you walk?” Jamie asked.

Dani brushed off Jamie’s hand. “I’m fine.” She started to hobble her way down the driveway, but each step caused so much pain she could barely move more than an inch at a time.

Jamie sighed and wrapped Dani’s arm around her neck. “Come on,” she said. “If you can let me sleep in your bed drunk, I can help carry you back to the house I guess.”

It seems the others were waiting at the door, probably watching the interaction through the window, because as the two got closer the front door swung open and Owen rushed out to help Jamie. She let him take Dani inside and she stayed behind with Hannah who offered her a towel.

“Are you alright?” Hannah asked. “That was some nasty lightning out there. I can’t imagine what would have happened if Dani–.”

“I’m fine.” Jamie cut her off, sending a glare her way, as she grabbed the towel. She looked down the hallway at the kitchen. Through the doorway she had a clear view of Dani at the kitchen table with her injured ankle propped up on the next chair. “Why did she come running out after me, anyway?”

Hannah sighed and stared at the au pair, too. “I’m not sure, but if I had to guess, I would say it’s the same reason you went running into the storm to find her.”

Jamie cleared her throat and let her eyes drop to the towel in her hand. “I was worried about Flora.”

“If you say so,” Hannah said. Her voice was far off as she watched Owen place an icepack on Dani’s ankle and Miles wrap a towel around Dani’s shoulders. “Is she pregnant?”

“Oh,” Jamie looked from Dani to Hannah and back again. “I’m not– I’m not really sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! Updates will be more frequent I promise :) there was a winter storm that knocked my power for a week.


	5. Chapter 5

The fire crackled in the fireplace in the family room. Dani sat on the couch across from it, far enough not to overheat, but close enough to stay warm. A thick blanket was draped over her lap and she purposefully pulled it up over her waist. She had changed into dry pajamas an hour ago and they hung loose enough to cover her stomach. The knowledge that everyone in the house had seen it didn’t change her instinct to hide.

“Hey, Poppins,” Jamie said, awkwardly as she walked in. She dropped into the armchair next to the couch. “I see the fire is still burning.”

Dani glared over at the gardener and didn’t justify that with a response. It was Jamie who had suggested the fire and Dani swore up and down the fireplace wouldn’t work if it was raining outside. Of course, that unleashed another argument until Jamie stormed out of the room and sent Owen in to start it.

Jamie clapped her hands together and looked around the room. “Right, well, the kids are helping Owen make food and Hannah is making sure the house is doing alright.” Dani didn’t make eye contact and nodded in a way that conveyed she was still upset. “Do you… need more tea? Or… another blanket?”

“Can you just drop it, please?” Dani asked and finally looked at her. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m fine.”

Her words stung the room into silence and they both sat there in a state of awkwardness. Neither of them knew what to do or what to say. Dani was tired of fighting with Jamie, but it felt like at every turn they couldn’t stop pissing each other off. It didn’t make sense. Or, at least, the way they gravitated back to each other after each argument didn’t make sense. They were magnets flipped the wrong way. Every time they tried to get close to the other, the force between them erupted into chaos and pushed them further away. It was a barrier that Dani was starting to believe they would never cross and it felt easier just to leave Jamie an arm’s length away.

“They’re asking questions,” Jamie said, quietly. “About you being pregnant.”

“Yeah, well,” Dani looked at her lap and scoffed at herself. “It was a very dramatic way to find out about it.”

Jamie paused, “What do you want me to say? When they ask about it?”

This made Dani look up at Jamie. She held the other’s gaze for a while and then shrugged a shoulder. “The truth, I guess? I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“So do I include the part where the baby was a total surprise and you don’t know how to tell your ex-fiance that you’re pregnant with his baby because the last time you talked to him was when you came out to him as a lesbian?” Jamie asked this through a veil of feigned innocence. A laugh burst from Dani and Jamie hid a triumphant smile. “Have you told him yet?”

Dani shook her head and stared into the fire. “How do you even do that?” She sighed. “I mean I tore his heart out. He thought we would spend the rest of our lives together when I knew the whole time a day would come that I couldn’t pretend anymore. And now he’s tied to me forever. It’s not fair to him.” She set a hand on her stomach.

“Or to you,” Jamie said. “None of this is your fault. I may not know much about straight sex, but I do know that when it comes to making babies, it almost always takes two to tango. So if it’s unfair to him then it is to you, too.”

“If I had never lied to him–.”

Jamie stood up from the armchair and squatted down until she was eye level with Dani. “Hey, do you want this baby? Like actually want to have this baby?”

Dani took a deep breath. That question hadn’t been asked of her, or by her, really. She had to process it for a second. Did she? Before the first appointment with Dr. Kirk, she probably would have said no without hesitation. Ever since she saw that photo for the first time, though, Dani couldn’t help but feel a sense of deep connection to the baby. And love. She loved the baby already.

“Yeah,” Dani whispered and her voice shook as she talked. “I do. I’m scared out of my mind, but I do.”

“Then you have to stop going down the ‘what if’ road,” Jamie said. “Just let yourself be happy. Be happy that you have a baby coming. Be happy that you’re out and living your truth. Don’t let guilt get in the way of that.”

“I’ll try,” Dani said.

Jamie sat onto the ground and leaned her back against the base of the couch so she was facing the fire. “Flora’s excited, you know. And Miles.”

Dani grinned. “Yeah?”

“It’ll be nice to get more life back in this place,” Jamie said and looked around the room.

Dani played with the corner of the blanket and bit her cheek. The gardener didn’t notice with her eyes entranced by the flickering flames. “I’m sorry,” Dani whispered. “I shouldn’t have told you they were just plants. I know that it’s so much more to you than that.”

“The statue garden is where I built a little memorial for the Wingraves and Rebecca,” Jamie admitted, under her breath. “My own private place to remember them on the days it hurts a little more. But,” she took a deep breath and ran her palms over her pants. “Maybe it was time to say goodbye or maybe I’ll build an even more beautiful one. Who knows?”

The throbbing in Dani’s ankle died down after a bit as the women sat quietly in the room, watching the fire. It was a little sore, but she could walk easily on it without much more than a slight hiccup in her step. She was glad for the independence and disappeared upstairs for a while.

When she came back down twenty minutes later, Jamie was back in the kitchen with the others. Her arm was draped over the back of Flora’s chair while she gave a very supportive and dramatic review of the girl’s latest artwork. At the sound of Dani walking in, the gardener stopped and looked her way.

“Welcome back, Poppins,” Jamie said and nodded at her ankle. “Looks like you’re on the mend.”

Dani nodded and sat down at the table. She placed the sonogram onto the wood top and pushed it into the center. “I thought maybe you would want to see this.”

It had been Jamie’s idea to bring it down. Otherwise, she had said, no one would bring it up until the day she came back from the hospital with the baby. As it turned out, Jamie knew the others very well because Hannah snatched up the photo and surveyed it with glistening eyes.

“Oh, Dani,” Hannah sighed. “When are you due?”

“Late October.”

“Don’t hog it, now,” Owen said and leaned over Hannah’s arm to get a closer look. Dani chuckled a little, knowing that Owen was using it as an excuse to be closer to her.

Flora adjusted in her seat and sat on her knees so she could lean over the table and get a look. “Let me see, let me see.” The chair under her jerked back an inch and Jamie instinctively reached out to the back of the chair to hold it in place.

“Careful,” Jamie said. “We don’t need you to crack your head open tonight when we can’t get you to the hospital.”

“What is that?” Miles asked. “Is that supposed to be the baby?”

Dani pushed herself up from the chair. Jamie noticed her movements, though everyone else was wrapped up in Hannah’s explanation of the photo. “Where you going?” Jamie whispered.

“I’m,” Dani chewed on her lip for a second. “I’m gonna go make a phone call.”

With understanding in her eyes, Jamie nodded. “Good luck. Let me know if I need to fly to America to set him straight.”

Dani laughed and then left the group behind. She tucked herself into Dominic’s old office. It was cold and empty. All of the files had been removed over a year ago, but books still lined the shelves behind the desk, artwork sat on the walls, and the office chair remained still, waiting for him to return. It gave her an odd feeling to be in there. She knew Dominic was long since gone, but he was still so present in the room she swore he could walk in at any moment.

She couldn’t bring herself to sit in his chair so she perched herself on top of the desk and brought one knee to her chest while she dialed the number. It was so easy. Her fingers still remembered the exact placements and she started to shake when the phone rang.

It was late morning there so he could be at work. She braced herself for the answering machine. So much, in fact, she expected it not to happen and forgot to prepare herself for the way his voice slipped through the receiver.

“Hello?” He asked. He sounded the same, not too sad, but not overly happy either. 

His voice made her stomach jump and fall. A part of her was happy to hear it, she missed her best friend, but she had to remind herself that to him, they weren’t best friends that hadn’t spoken to each other. To him, she was the love of his life that had broken his heart. At least, that’s how it had been when she saw him last.

“Edmund?” Dani whispered. It took everything in her just to say something and her eyes already welled with tears. “Edmund, it’s Dani.”

“I know who it is–,” he snapped. Eddy took a deep breath and then, calmer, “I could tell by your voice.”

She sniffed and wiped the first tear to fall with the back of her hand. “Uh, how are you?”

A pause. “I’m okay. I took some time off work, but I go back next week. How are you? No one’s seen you around lately. I mean, not that I’ve been asking. Just worried. My mom drove by the house to check on you, but…” he trailed off, evidently realizing he was rambling.

“I’m,” she stopped. Dani only told her mom about her plans to move to England and, from the sounds of it, she had kept her promise not to tell others. “I, uh, moved to England.”

“What?” Eddy cried. It was shock, though, not anger. “Why?”

Dani pressed her eyes closed. “I needed time away. It’s a small town, Eddy, you know that. There was no way to find myself there with people who already have ideas about who I am.”

“They’re not ideas, Dani, it’s what you told them.”

“Please,” she whispered. The tears came harder. This was the part he hadn’t listened to last time, but Dani supposed he wasn’t obligated to, either. “I thought I could make it be true if I tried hard enough, but in the end…”

“In the end you strung me along for years,” Eddy said. He scoffed. “Why did you even call me, Danielle?”

Dani’s eyes widened and she froze. This was it. Now was the time to say it. She had to say it. He needed to know. Her voice caught in her throat, though. She couldn’t get the words out no matter how hard she tried.

“You just called me to remind me that you lied?” Eddy said. “Real mature. I’m hanging up, please don’t call me again.”

“Eddy, wait, I’m pregnant,” she cried, but the line cut off. “Fuck.” Dani slammed the phone down to the hook and pulled both knees into her face. They stifled her cries, but she could feel her stomach pressing against her thighs and it reminded her of the whole conversation over again. He wouldn’t pick up again for the rest of the day so she would have to start all over again in a day or two.

Dani slowed her tears and wiped her face with her sleeve. The smells of dinner were wafting through the house and seeping into the office. Her stomach rumbled with hunger and not even the sadness from the conversation could keep her from wandering back to the kitchen for food. She stopped in the bathroom first to wash her hands and splash some cold water on her face.

As she turned from wiping her hands with a towel, the ends of her shirt waved back and just barely pulled, taught, against her stomach. It caught her attention. She turned sideways and watched as she held her hand against the bottom of the bump, really letting it pop. 

Just let yourself be happy.

A warm feeling rushed through Dani. It didn’t push out the hollow sadness leftover from the conversation with Edmund, but it certainly outweighed it.

The storm ended as abruptly that night as it had started that morning.

The next three days, Dani tried to call Edmund back. She didn’t know if he heard, so she had to at least try. He didn’t pick up. She thought about calling Mrs. O’Mara, but she wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. After the third time, Dani wondered how long she had to keep trying. Did she call every day? Once a week? Suck it up and call his parents?

As it turned out, she didn’t have to keep trying very long.

Four days after her call with Edmund, Hannah and Owen were out on a grocery run together leaving Dani, Jamie, and the kids alone at the house. The doorbell was a loud one and Dani could hear it even from upstairs. As she walked down the steps to answer, she caught sight of Flora making her way to the door.

“Hey now,” Dani called, lighthearted. “You know the rules, Miss Flora.”

Flora pouted. “You said I could answer the door when I’m older and I’m older than I was when you said it.”

Dani gave an exaggerated look toward the girl. “You know that’s not what I meant.” She opened the door and Flora grabbed hold of the knob, hanging from it as she peered around the wood to get a peak at who it was. Dani’s face paled and she took half a step back.

“Flora residence,” Flora said in a sing-songy voice then giggled.

“Edmund,” Dani gasped. She made eye contact with Flora and the girl understood, darting off out of sight. The au pair pushed forward, forcing Edmund to back up. She led him out of the entranceway and onto the grass in the sun. A taxi idled on the driveway. Now that everyone in the house knew, Dani could wear t-shirts like the one she wore that day and Edmund could barely tear his eyes away. “What are you doing here?”

Edmund looked back to Dani’s face. “We needed to talk in person, not over a long distance phone call and you certainly weren’t going to fly back to Iowa to do it. When my mom asked where in England you were, your mom sang like a canary.”

“Of course she did,” Dani muttered.

“Why didn’t you tell me before you jetted off to another country?”

Dani ran a hand over the top of her head. “It’s not like that.”

“I’m tired of this, Danielle,” Edmund cried. “You hide information, thinking you know what’s best, and then discard people like me when you’ve decided you’re ‘ready to talk about it’.”

“Everything alright over here?” Jamie asked. She stopped next to the two, buckets in both hands, and eyed Edmund.

Edmund did a double take and then dismissed her, focusing again on Dani. “Yeah, we’re fine.” She didn’t move so he looked back. “It’s private. You can leave.”

Jamie glanced at Dani, who nodded subtly, and then she walked off at a slow pace, whistling as she went. She stopped next to a window about 20 feet from them and began wiping it down with a soapy rag.

Over Dani’s shoulder, Edmund eyed the gardener and then shook his head, returning his gaze to Dani. “I don’t know what you’re doing out here or what you were trying to prove, exactly, but you need to come home.”

“And do what?” Dani cried. “Go back to the school? I’ll have the kid during the week and you’ll get them over the weekends? There’s no life for me back there. That’s not a life. At least, not one I want.”

“You don’t know what you want,” Edmund cried. He set his hands on his hips. “You’ve never known what you want.”

Dani paused, tears welling in her eyes, and she licked her lips as she took a step back. “I know I don’t want you. And that’s as good a place to start as any.”

Pain wavered over Edmund’s face and he looked up at the sky. When he spoke again, his voice was low. “Enough. This isn’t about whatever self-searching path you’re on right now. There’s going to be a baby soon so it’s time for you to come home. I’ve already made arrangements. We’ll fly out tomorrow. We don’t need–.”

Dani’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “I’m sorry, Edmund– you bought tickets for me?”

“I’m just trying to help you do the right thing here, okay?” His voice got loud again and he held his hands out.

“I don’t need saving,” Dani hissed. She took a step up close to Edmund and held his gaze. “You don’t get to just swoop in here and decide what I’m going to do, how I’m going to live my life.” She turned to leave, but his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t walk away,” Edmund cried. “You don’t get to just walk away again.”

“Oi,” Jamie cried from her spot at the window. She dropped the rag back into the bucket and rushed to Dani’s side. “Ex-boyfriend. Give it up, mate. It’s over.”

Dani yanked her hand back and rubbed her wrist. Edmund looked Jamie up and down. “Fine. I’m done trying to get you to hear me out–.”

“I heard you out,” Dani said. “You just don’t like my answer.”

“I’ll get a lawyer,” Edmund said. That sent Dani spinning. She froze and stared up at him. A smile crept over his face because he knew he found the right ammo. “I will, Danielle.”

Dani dropped her hand and the breath caught in her throat. “You wouldn’t.”

Edmund nodded emphatically. “Yeah, I will and I won’t just ask for part-time custody. I’ll ask for full with limited visitation rights and who do you think they’ll side with? The stable dad with a good career who didn’t go jetting off with the baby to another country? Or the unravelling mom who broke up with her fiance, disappeared off the face of the Earth to be an au pair, and hid a pregnancy?” He waited, but no one said anything. “The flight is tomorrow evening. I’m staying at the inn in Bly. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Once the waiting taxi drove off with Edmund in it, Dani turned and stormed back into the house.

“Dani–,” Jamie pleaded.

“Don’t,” Dani spat out.

“I really didn’t mean to make it worse,” Jamie said.

Dani stopped and turned on Jamie. Her face was red and at her sides her hands balled in and out of tight fists. “You never mean to make it worse, but you do. Every time.”

Jamie broke eye contact and stepped back. “He was treating you horribly–.”

“It wasn’t your business to get involved in.”

Then, Jamie turned back to Dani with a fire in her eyes. “Neither was mine and my ex’s, but you still got involved and I got a concussion so don’t start calling the kettle black.”

“A concussion,” Dani said and her voice caught as fear passed through her, “is not the same thing as losing custody of your child.”

Jamie went silent. She wiped her damp hands on the back of her jeans and took a deep breath. “What are you going to do?”

Dani threw her hands up and then let them slap against the sides of her legs. “What do you think, Jamie? I don’t really have much choice left at all, thanks to you.”

“So you’re going,” Jamie said, quiet. She nodded.

“Yeah, I’m going.” Dani turned and walked up the stairs. Whatever life she thought she could live here, with these incredible people, was dissolving before her eyes into nothing more than a childlike fantasy. Things aren’t quite so easy in the real world.

She would stay the night so she could say a proper goodbye and then have Owen drive her into town the next morning.

At the top of the stairs, she stopped and looked over her shoulder, but Jamie was already gone.

That night, after dinner, Dani was cleaning up plates when Jamie stepped up next to her. Dani turned her back to the gardener, but hid the way her eyes lifted from the dishes in her hand waiting for her to say something. 

“Can we talk?” Jamie whispered. “Please?”

Dani hesitated, but put the dishes into the sink and pushed through the back door with Jamie close behind. It was chilly, but their light sweatshirts offered enough to keep them warm. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Dani said.

Jamie stuffed her hands into her pockets and looked up at the evening sky. She scrunched her face together. “I don’t think you should go. I mean,” Jamie huffed and looked into Dani’s eyes. “I don’t want you to.”

“Jamie,” Dani whispered. Her voice cracked and tears came to her eyes.

“Do you want to go?” Jamie asked. She stepped closer to Dani until their whole world was just the other woman. Everything around them was gone. “Is that what you want?”

“I want to be able to raise my baby,” Dani said. “Whether I want to stay here or go home doesn’t matter anymore.”

Jamie shook her head and Dani finally noticed the tears building in the corner of her eyes. “This is your home, Dani. Bly is your home.”

“I can’t,” Dani whispered and pushed away. She walked back into the house leaving Jamie alone on the lawn.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Jamie was nowhere to be seen. Flora, Miles, Hannah, and Owen stood in the foyer as Dani descended the stairs with her bags. Her eyes scanned the room for Jamie, but Hannah gave a silent shake of her head.

“Must you leave?” Flora whined. She grabbed onto Dani’s arm and hung there, with round blinking eyes. “Please stay.”

“We don’t want you to go,” Miles insisted.

Dani offered the two a sad smile. “I know. I don’t want to go either, but I have to.”

“Will you be back to visit, at least?” Miles asked.

The sadness in her smile turned into a genuine grin. “The first chance I can, I’ll be right back here to say hi.”

Hannah pulled Dani in for a tight hug. She rubbed the au pair’s back as she stood there. “We will miss you.” Hannah sighed and stepped back. “Even Jamie, though you two could never stop bickering, could you?”

“Oh,” a light flashed in Flora’s eyes. The young girl ran across the foyer and pulled open a drawer at the table on the other side of the room. There were various things like candles, matches, and flashlights in case of power outages. Flora removed a white pastry box and held it out to Dani. “Jamie asked me to give this to you.”

“You saw Jamie?” Dani asked, breathless.

Flora nodded. “She stopped by, but only for a moment. She said she needed me to do her a favor because Owen would be too nosy.”

“I what?” Owen cried.

Dani looked at the box. A white envelope was taped to the top with her name scrawled across in black ink. “Well, thank you.”

Owen looked at his watch. “We should probably get going.”

They all said their final goodbyes and Owen loaded Dani’s things into his trunk just as had when he brought her to Bly. It felt right to have him be the one to drive her away. As Dani watched the manor disappear behind them she found herself truly hoping that she would hold her promise to return one day.

She turned her attention to the box in her lap. The envelope sat there just begging to be opened so she did. Only a few sentences were scribbled inside in Jamie’s messy script.

‘Don’t let guilt get in the way of your happiness. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you that you don’t know what you want again. You do. Own it.’ The most Jamie note she had ever seen.

Dani stared at the writing for a while. Her fingers brushed over the card and her chest opened with hope. How was it the woman knew exactly what she needed to hear when she needed it the most?

Eventually, she tucked the note back into the envelope and opened the box. One of the chocolate croissants sat in there. Dani snorted from laughing so hard.

“What?” Owen asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

Dani held up the croissant so he could see. “You can’t tell her I showed you this.”

“That from the coffee shop downtown?”

“She says it’s better than yours,” Dani grinned down at the pastry. “I don’t have anything to compare it to–.”

“Jamie,” Owen said and shook his head. “That woman finds a new way to drive me up the walls every single day. You know I used to work at that coffee shop?”

Dani shook her head. “I didn’t.”

“Before I got the job at the house.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s my damn recipe they use.”

~~~~~~

Mrs. O’Mara picked Dani and Edmund up from the airport. The two didn’t speak the entire time save for the necessary, “here’s your ticket” or “I’m using the restroom”. It was a nuance that Edmund’s mother did not notice as she pulled Dani in for a tight hug.

“Oh, it is so good to see you two together again,” she said.

“Together?” Dani asked. She looked at Edmund with inquisitive eyes and his rounded with nervousness.

“Well,” Mrs. O’Mara shrugged and waved a hand. “Of course not together, exactly, but I’m sure you two will eventually find your way back. Now, let’s get your bags, Danielle.”

With her back to the expecting parents, Dani turned on Edmund with fire in her eyes. “You never told her, did you?” She hissed under her breath.

“What am I supposed to say?” Edmund responded, also quiet. “Mom, the woman you’ve said I was going to marry my entire life is leaving me for women?”

Dani nodded, “What’s so wrong with that?”

“That red one, right?” Mrs. O’Mara called. “That looks like the one you brought on the family trip to Aspen.”

Dani took a deep breath and confirmed it was, indeed, that one and then joined Mrs. O’Mara to track down the last of the bags. In the car, the older woman spent the entire time catching Dani up on the gossip she had missed. Jenny Reid’s latest fling didn’t work out. Poor Mrs. Finch’s cat died and she went into a deep hole of depression until Mr. Finch surprised her with a kitten. There was a small kitchen fire at the Callister’s house and the whole town made them so much food they didn’t even need to cook for a month once their kitchen was fixed up.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Mrs. O’Mara gasped. She looked in the rearview mirror to watch Dani. “Remember Serena Moore?”

“Mom–,” Edmund hissed. “I think that’s enough of the gossip. She’ll hear it all soon.”

Dani’s stomach turned. Boy, did she remember Serena Moore and Serena Moore would remember her well, too. They had been close friends in high school. There was a time after some homecoming and before the following prom, Dani and Edmund took a break. She said she needed some space and he said he wanted to talk to other girls before settling down with her– as that had just been a given even back then. Dani and Serena got close. Close enough to hide behind the bleachers in the gym and be each other’s first kiss with a girl. It was silly, they both said. It was just to test it out because they always wondered, they said. They tried it again a few times until they were almost caught and then they never talked to each other again.

“Let me finish this story and then I’ll be done,” she said and patted her son on the arm. “Remember how Serena moved to New York for college? Well, she came back for the first time in a few years to see her parents and she brought another girl back with her. Like… a girlfriend.”

Dani’s heartbeat picked up in her ears and her voice shook. “Is that so bad?”

Mrs. O’Mara’s face went a bit red. “Oh, no, it’s not bad at all,” she rushed to say. It was clear then she only told the story because of the reaction she got, not because of her own feelings toward it. “I just didn’t know she was like that, is all.”

“Like that?” Dani scoffed. 

Edmund cleared his throat. “We’re pretty tired from traveling. I think it’s best that you drop Dani off at her mom’s and we can meet up for brunch in the morning, maybe. How does that sound?” He looked into the backseat and made eye contact with Dani.

He wanted her not to say it out loud. She didn’t know why he wanted to hide it so badly. Maybe he wanted his mother to always hope they could get back together because it made him feel better about the situation. Who knows, really, she was sure she would never get the answer.

She stayed quiet the rest of the drive, hiding in the back. She hated Edmund for putting her in that position but mostly she hated herself for staying there.

The first thing she said after that was “goodnight” and then she let herself into her mom’s house. Edmund left her bags in the foyer and didn’t wait to say hi to Karen. Her mom bounded down the stairs at the sound of Dani’s arrival and hugged her daughter.

“I was starting to worry I would never see you again,” Karen cried.

“What are you talking about, mom?” Dani sighed. “I wasn’t even gone that long.”

Karen brushed her finger across the tip of Dani’s nose. “One day without your child feels like a century. Soon, you’ll know.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Most parents are excited when their kid moves out and they can live their life again, you know.” Her mom shrugged. “Okay, well, I’m exhausted so I’m gonna go upstairs.”

Her room was the same as it was when she was a teenager. Karen could never bring herself to change it for whatever reason. Posters still hung on the walls, old diaries were reliably stashed under the mattress. If she really looked, Dani was sure she could find some ten-year-old weed inside a book or two. 

She dropped on the bed and picked up the turquoise phone from her bedside table. When she was 16, she begged her mom for a phone in her room and Karen eventually gave in. Dani stared down at the numbers and then dialed the operator for a long-distance call.

“Hello?” Hannah asked. 

“Hi,” Dani said. A part of her was disappointed it wasn’t Jamie, but Jamie almost never answered the house phone. Even so, a sense of calmness washed over her at the sound of Hannah’s voice. “It’s Dani. I just wanted to call and check-in.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you made it back okay,” Hannah gushed. “How was the flight?”

Dani shrugged. “Boring. Missed all of you. Still do, in fact.”

“We’re all missing you quite terribly, too, you know. Flora has just been beside herself,” the housekeeper sighed. “She’s barely come out of her room. And Miles, that poor boy, has barely left the classroom.”

Dani’s eyes closed with hurt and she tried to press away tears. How badly she wanted to be back there and not in her teenage bedroom that dripped with the smell of somebody she never was. “Owen?”

“He’s okay. He keeps asking if you’ve called. In fact, he’d probably love to talk to you if you’d like.”

“I should probably sleep. Traveling is more exhausting now than it usually is. I’ll call back tomorrow, I promise.”

Hannah went silent for a moment. “Jamie’s not been around much. She came in early and left early. You should call her flat when you can.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dani said. Her body shook as she thought about Jamie. “I’ll do that. It was good talking to you, Hannah. Talk soon, okay?”

“We’ll hold you to that,” Hannah said and hung up.

Dani rolled back onto the bed and buried her face into the pillow as she cried. Her body rocked with the sobs, but she couldn’t make too much noise. The walls were thin here and she didn’t want to explain to her mother why she was crying. So, she suppressed them, gasping for air in between. It went on for a while and once her breathing slowed so did the tears. Her body was drained more than it had been in years. Every part of her ached and she had no energy to do anything but sleep.

She almost slept through brunch. Karen had to burst into her room, pull open the curtains and shake Dani to get her to wake up. It brought back so many memories from her childhood that Dani rolled over and was momentarily surprised by the feeling of her pregnant stomach. Her mind caught up and reminded her that she was no longer a teenager fighting to get through high school. 

This time change was definitely hitting her harder than the first and her body desperately cried out for more sleep as she slipped on a summer dress. The weather at Bly was very different from the weather at Iowa and here it had already started to descend into the blanket of humidity that wouldn’t leave until fall. She groaned out loud as she realized she would have to endure that entire period while being very pregnant.

Her mom gushed over the growing bump as they made their way to the restaurant. Dani rubbed her forehead with her hand, wanting it to stop, but knowing she couldn’t ask for that without making the whole thing worse. 

“Why are you so sad?” Karen asked when Dani sat quietly instead of responding. The abrasiveness took Dani by surprise, though she didn’t know why. This was normal for her mom.

She blinked, taken aback, and stared out the window. “I’m not sad.”

“You were down last night and down this morning,” her mom insisted.

“I’m just tired.”

“And sad.” Mom and daughter glared at each other until Karen had to return her eyes to the road. “I just don’t understand. Romance movies are written about couples like you and Edmund.”

Dani covered her face with her hands. “We’re not a couple.”

Karen let out an exasperated groan. “Will you ever tell me why you broke up with him?”

“Yes, but now is not a good time to explain,” Dani said. Her mom pulled into a parking spot and she launched herself out of the car before Karen had time to turn it off. She was relieved to see Mrs. O’Mara and Edmund already seated because it meant her mom couldn’t interrogate her anymore.

Mrs. O’Mara made a big deal of Karen sitting next to her, but Dani suspected she did that to get her and Edmund sitting next to each other.

“Isn’t this just lovely?” Mrs. O’Mara asked Karen. “Of course, it would be better if they got married so people talked less, but even so.”

Edmund and Dani shared a look and quietly chuckled. It was the same look they gave each other every time their moms talked about them as if they weren’t there. Then, Dani remembered things were different and she looked down at the place setting in front of her. Edmund’s gaze lingered and then he turned to his cup of coffee.

A waitress showed up at their table and passed around menus. Karen ordered a coffee and then the waitress stared at Dani. “Oh, I’ll take a cup of black tea with a little milk and sugar. Not much, though.”

Once the waitress left, Mrs. O’Mara flashed Dani a surprised but impressed look. “Tea. England really made an impression on you, I see. Tell us all about it, honey.”

“The family was amazing,” Dani said and smiled. Memories from her time there floated through her mind and her eyes went blank as she thought of them. Her heart ached to be back there with them. 

“Dani?” Karen asked when her daughter didn’t keep talking.

“The house,” Edmund jumped in to cover, “was amazing. You should have seen it.”

Dani nodded through the blank stare, “The gardener did an amazing job with the grounds.”

“Sounds like a fun gig to shake things up,” Mrs. O’Mara said. “I’m sure the school will take you back if you gave the principal a call. They haven’t filled your position yet.”

Edmund straightened the fork in front of him. “Julia told me they just used a sub to finish out the school year and they will open up for applications next month.”

Something about the idea of setting roots down again in Iowa felt like nails on a chalkboard. She wanted the conversation to end. Deep down she knew that her time at Bly was over and she would have to accept that someday soon, but today was not that day. So, Dani plastered a smile on her face and said, “We’ll see.”

“Hopefully, we’ll see soon,” Karen joked. “You don’t want to be living at home when the baby is born.”

“You don’t want me living at home when the baby is born, mom,” Dani shot back.

Karen held up her hands, “I’m just saying, sweetie, I did my time with you and you weren’t exactly the easiest baby.”

“Neither was Edmund,” Mrs. O’Mara laughed. “I certainly hope that isn’t genetic or you two will be in for a tough time.”

The meal went surprisingly well. All four slipped back into each other’s lives as if nothing had changed. When they stood up to leave, Edmund leaned in close to Dani’s ear. “Want to go for a walk?” He whispered.

Dani looked outside. It was a nice day and it hadn’t hit too high of temperatures yet. The idea wasn’t horrific or maybe she was in a pleasant mood after the meal so she said yes. They walked along the streets for a while. It was easy and they spent most of it laughing.

“Remember when we ditched senior prom and went bowling instead with Jenna and Logan?” Edmund said over laughs.

“And drank that whole flask when the attendants weren’t looking?” Dani added. Edmund stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the sky, entertained. “Until we started bowling in unopened lanes to see what happened and they called your mom on us.”

“Oh, God, we were grounded for forever after that,” Edmund groaned. Then, he wrapped his hand around hers. 

“Eddy,” Dani cried and pulled her hand back.

Edmund stepped away from her as his face dropped. “I’m so sorry, Dani. I’m sorry, it– it was just habit, I swear.”

Dani looked away and took a deep breath. She kept walking and he kept up with her pace. A silence passed between the two of them. There was a deep sense of guilt coming from him and she knew he wasn’t trying to do anything. 

“So the baby is due in October,” Dani said. She was desperately trying to find something to fill the silence and the baby felt like the best thing.

“I figured as much, considering.” His face reddened and he dipped his head. “I suppose we should figure out the logistics of the thing, shouldn’t we?”

Dani held a gentle hand against her stomach. “What do you mean?”

Edmund shrugged. “I just mean, this isn’t exactly a conventional situation.”

“You think?” Dani scoffed.

“How do we do this? Choose names, do the delivery, handle the newborn stage?” Edmund ran a hand over the back of his head. These were all very real, very valid questions that Dani had never thought about.

A small voice at the back of her mind whispered that it was easier to just take him back. Sure, she wasn’t happy with him but she wouldn’t be happy here in Iowa anyway, so what did it matter if she was unhappy alone or unhappy living with the person who was always her best friend? A familiar feeling passed over her, it was the same feeling she carried with her throughout her entire childhood.

Mrs. O’Mara’s words flashed through her mind. ‘Like that’. That’s what everyone in the godforsaken town would say. ‘Like that’.

She shook her head. That wasn’t a choice, she told herself, but the voice of doubt was still stuck in the back of her mind.

A month passed. Every day, she called the house, and every day she didn’t get to talk to Jamie. Hannah or Owen always had some on-the-spot excuse and Dani knew the gardener didn’t want to talk to her. Eventually, she stopped asking and pushed away the idea of calling her flat. The woman wanted space and she had to give that to her.

The more time that passed, the more of it she spent with Eddy. She moved back into the house after a week with her mom. That way she could get settled and get ready before the baby came. Eddy was there a lot. The two argued about which extra room they would use for the nursery. When it was decided, they started to draw up plans for designs.

One day, Eddy fell asleep on the couch after a movie night went late. Dani leaned against the doorframe watching. Her best friend was sleeping on her couch. That wasn’t weird. She focused her mind on ‘best friend’. It was getting easier and easier to slip back into what they had before and she could only imagine what it was like for him– trying to recover from the break up while crashing on her couch. Dani couldn’t let this happen. It would be too hard for both of them.

So, she sat down on the coffee table and shook Edmund until he woke up with a start.

“Dani?” He blinked and looked around, searching for his glasses. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Dani nodded and then she froze, trying to decide what to say. “We can’t do this.”

Edmund slipped his glasses on and peered through them with a confused gaze. “What do you mean?”

Dani took a deep breath. “This. It isn’t fair to either of us. You deserve a life beyond me and I deserve that, too.”

“It’s complicated–.”

“Because we’re letting it be,” Dani sighed. “I don’t think we should be spending this much time together.”

A hurt look passed over Eddy’s face. It reminded her of the one he wore when she broke up with him. “But the baby–.”

“Don’t use the baby as an excuse to not move on. The baby deserves parents who are happy and you should go try to find that.” Because I don’t have that option, she wanted to add. Her anger towards him was nothing more than a small flame now. There wasn’t anything she could do anymore and it was easier to accept the situation than spend her days wishing for it to be different. Dani brushed some hair behind her ear. She was avoiding eye contact. 

Edmund didn’t say anything. He sat very still for a time and then left without another word.


End file.
